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Ivy’s Story

My name is Ivy, and I am 13 years old.

I was bought up in with my mum, dad and two younger brother Benji and Toby.

I have lots of memories growing up with my family; holidays, trips to the zoo and going to parks.

I have always been close to my parents, especially my dad. I used to be able to talk to him about my worries and he used to treat me and take me out to get away from my brothers- who can be really annoying sometimes! My dad used to call me his little princess.

I started high school 2 years ago and had lots of friends. I have always been good at art and geography.

About a year ago, we had sex education class at school. I learnt about the body’s, the sperm and the egg, but this made me have lots more questions about it. I could talk to my mum and dad about anything, so I thought I would ask them.

I was so confused. Was this normal? Did all dads do this? Why would he do this to me?

Every morning I would stand in front of the mirror and look at my tummy to see if it was getting bigger. I was so scared that I might get pregnant.

I didn’t tell anyone to begin with as I was worried what would happen and I still didn’t really understand what he was doing to me or why. But one day when I was talking to a friend-I told her. She then told my teacher who spoke to me and then she phoned the police. My dad was arrested, and I haven’t seen him again since. I felt relieved for telling someone about it, knowing he couldn’t do those things to me anymore but my whole world changed.

I found it hard to talk to my mum about it without her becoming to upset. I felt like it was my fault that the family was split up. I started to feel alone, and I didn’t want to spend time with my friends. My teachers tried to talk to me, telling me they were worried about me. My friend that I had told, started spreading rumours around the school and I started getting bullied.

I was really struggling, I started feeling so angry. I felt so alone and I couldn’t see a way ahead – I felt broken.

That’s when things changed. Dad started to become really weird and that’s when it happened. He told me he wanted to teach me about sex and show me how babies are made. At the time I wasn’t sure what happened, but I now know that he raped me.

My teacher referred me to Brave Futures. At first, I wasn’t sure about talking to someone about what had happened and how I felt but they just seemed to get me. They believed me straight away, they understood, I had a space to make sense of everything that happened, and I felt safe. Over time they helped me understand what had happened and helped me realise that I wasn’t to blame. I was able to talk about how I felt and I learnt my feelings were normal, I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t broken after all. I learned new ways of managing the uncomfortable feelings I had. My mum was given support as she was finding things really hard. I feel really close to her again now and we help support each other.

Things can still be difficult, I know that I am still on a journey but I now feel more confident to face new challenges. I feel more positive about what’s to come, I feel like me again.